The Identity Crisis
I had a daughter then. Truth be told, she was too old for me to be carrying around and yet it happened I found myself doing so. We were in a shopping mall sitting upon a bench to rest, her arms flung around my neck. She looked off in the distance as if pondering something, her face becoming ever more distressed until at last she reached such a point of exasperation she could take no more and turned toward me. I don’t understand how Bruce Wayne can be Batman, she said.
It took a moment to register.
—Oh. Well, what do you mean?
—I mean Bruce Wayne is Bruce Wayne and Batman is Batman.
—Right, yes, and Bruce Wayne is Batman.
—But Bruce Wayne is not Batman! You see?
I didn’t and it was clear from my face that I didn’t.
—Bruce Wayne runs Wayne Industries. Batman fights crime. But Bruce Wayne doesn’t fight crime and Batman doesn’t run Wayne Industries. So how can Bruce Wayne be Batman?
—Oh, I see. It’s true, Bruce Wayne doesn’t fight crime as Bruce Wayne and Batman doesn’t run Wayne Industries as Batman. But Bruce Wayne is still Batman.
—But if Bruce Wayne doesn’t fight crime and Batman does, then how can Bruce Wayne be Batman?
—Well, Bruce Wayne is Batman, but as Bruce Wayne he doesn’t do what Batman does, and as Batman he doesn’t do what Bruce Wayne does.
—If the things Bruce Wayne does and the things Batman does are different, then how can Bruce Wayne be Batman?
Uncertain, I paused a moment before a further attempt.
—Ah. Well, the person who is Bruce Wayne is also Batman. And the person who is Bruce Wayne runs Wayne Industries as Bruce Wayne. And the person who is Batman, who is also Bruce Wayne, fights crime as Batman. So, you see, Bruce Wayne is Batman.
—True or false: Bruce Wayne is a person.
—True.
—Batman is a person.
—True?
—Then that doesn’t make sense, either. If Bruce Wayne is a person, and Batman is a person, how can two people be one person?
—Sometimes one person can be two people.
—Now you’re just being ridiculous.
So I was the exasperated one.
—Ok! So Bruce Wayne and Batman are separate identities that the same person has. Sometimes he’s Bruce Wayne and sometimes he’s Batman.
Then Bruce Wayne isn’t Batman, she said.
—Look! If Clark Kent can be Superman, then I don’t see any reason why Bruce Wayne can’t be Batman!
She seemed content to accept that answer, or at least turned away to reflect upon it some more.
We were in a pizzeria now. The lights were dim. A man looked to have been eavesdropping. I gestured to him for support. He chuckled. I blame anime. You know? Japanese cartoons.
I regretted involving him.